Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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