Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
