I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
