I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
