Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
