I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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