Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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