and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
