Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
