Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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