And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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