Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
