Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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