you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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