Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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