it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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