If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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