Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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