he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is my gift to your gina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
