He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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