I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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