just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
