whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just pee around me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I want a musical about memes.
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