after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
