I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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