We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
