i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
