Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I stole a fireplace last night.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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