I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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