Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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