I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This baby is an asshole
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
