Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
