I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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