I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
