Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you win again, gameday.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
