i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
