I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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