My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
