He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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