I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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