Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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