His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
