did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
