Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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