I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
