Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry crazymerdock hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

what do you have against ST

(1-540): View more from Virginia

DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.

Fav 11 3663 1262
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....

Fav 3 4565 872
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.

Fav 12 5387 1234
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.

Fav 12 2916 1330
share tweet
(912): View more from Georgia

Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

Fav 7 3105 1184
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

(210): View more from Texas

No

Fav 4 2315 847
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.

Fav 8 1177 936
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.

Fav 0 484 217
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?

Fav 0 29 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT