i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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