I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
