Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
