shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you inspire me to be a worse person
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
