We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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