He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
